Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I think it's high-time we stopped this stupid holiday in it's tracks. I mean, what's it really worth? What's it doing for all of us collectively? To the people who sell flowers, chocolates, diamonds and lingerie probably a lot. We shouldn't have holidays for profit...wait. Christmas. Never mind. That's for Jesus.
There is a certain palpable anxiety this time of year. Not just for my single friends, but for EVERYONE. This day, February 14th, is an erotic doomsday for most people. It's the day you acknowledge the fact that nobody loves you or it's that day you have to "prove your love" through some expensive gesture that means absolutely nothing. The commercials are running in quick succession to help you navigate. Buying diamonds will DEFINITELY get you laid. Taking her out to dinner will get you pats on the back from your buddies and most likely you'll experience the worst service you've ever imagined. Either way it's fucked up. I'm sick of it....I have tried for many years to spearhead an alternative to Valentine's Day. My holiday would be "National Blowjob Day" and this would be a fantastic day for both men and women (this is blowjobs for women, too, guys.) I can think of nothing better than "going down" to express your affections. It's the perfect gift. Love should be free.
Our society is filled with ridiculous expectations that leave people constantly starving for affection. The expectations for someone coming into our lives is impossibly high. They need to sweep in and "complete" us. Then they have to continue being fucking amazing until we die holding hands at 90. It's not obtainable or maintainable. It's meant to be impossible. We're not supposed to be happy. Happy people don't make good slaves.
Love isn't free or even affordable to the masses. It has to be purchased. Love has become a commodity. People who are unable to sustain love in their lives are made to feel inadequate and unlovable. NOBODY is unlovable. I have come to the conclusion that for these people, which are most people, maintaining healthy relationships is damned near IMPOSSIBLE. To have a healthy marriage you need to be a combination of Mahatma Gandhi and Superman/woman, forgive large personality shortcomings and able be to leap tall arguments in a single bound. That, and living with some 24/7 is HARD. There are the tiny mind-numbing personal habits of that sexy person you live with day in and day out. The dirty underwear on the floor, the "I have to cut my spaghetti with scissors," his habit of "dropping the kids off at the pool" while I'm trying to take a relaxing bath. Don't even get me started on my annoying habits. You couldn't pay me to live with me. I have heard of couples in a domestic dispute over bad meatloaf. Seemingly small mole-hills become mountains overnight. Friends, I have walked across the interior valley of Hell half-wacky in love....and 28 years later I'd do it all over again. Because that's what love is. Love, given enough time, changes your DNA.
Love is fighting over money. Love is making the hard decisions. Love is raising kids in a fucked-up world, teaching them to look for the beauty in a world where there's a sad lack of it. Love is being brave and sometimes taking stupid chances together. Love is making epic mistakes. Love is forgiving unforgivable infractions. Love is understanding lusting after other human beings. Love makes you accountable. Love is farting toxically next to someone on the couch or hot-boxing them in bed and knowing they only love you more for your glorious stench. Love is imperfection. Love is broken and whole simultaneously. Love is being completely selfless. Love is taking care of yourself despite being completely selfless. Love is individual and impossible to explain to an outsider. Love is economical, but your mileage may vary. Love is stepping off that ledge. Love is accepting that you're going to get the living shit beat out of you on occasion, then opening your arms and let it come at you. Love is bigger if you share it. Love is letting go.
Everyone deserves love. Everyone. Very few can actually have it in the current construct of the vapid and fake human landscape where nothing seems to make any sense. The place where you're supposed to be super-human and perfect. Women are supposed to be ethereally beautiful forever to earn love, have perfect boobs, be the perfect wife/mother then when the babies are asleep, drop her panties and be the fantasy woman every man dreams of fucking. Men should have six-figures in their bank account at all times, have a 9 inch dick, make you come over and over in soul-fucking-sex-sessions that last two hours...then cry with you watching "Terms of Endearment" on Netflix. Sometimes that happens. Most of the time it's about taking out the garbage and throwing dirty socks into the washer and marveling at the Butt-Gnome's ability to steal your favorites.
I say we all say "fuck it" to Valentine's Day. I suggest we all love each other a little more. Let's be more honest and open. Let's face our ugliness, pettiness and acknowledge that we ALL deserve love and should ALL have love....lots of it. Let's "get real." Let's change things. Let's throw out the unobtainable expectations. We've all seen how love can change the world, but in order to see that change large-scale we need to repossess and redefine what love means. We need to acknowledge that there is a "love inequality." We've all seen what economic inequality can do. We are smack-dab in the middle of extreme-love-impoverishment. The situation has gotten so dire that people go to "cuddle-parties" and somehow this seems normal to us. "Cracker Barrel" love.
I'm deeply in love and Valentine's Day is dead to me. Until everyone has the love they deserve Valentine's Day can go and fuck itself. Time for a Love Revolution.
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